Poor cancer victim…

I doubt this person in this Nigeria 419 scam email is seriously a cancer victim:

Dear Friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not
yet met.
After searching through the internet. I am contacting you to let us assist
children of conflict,to help children affected by war and disaster,

I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will
die someday.
Let me start by introducing my humble self,I am <name removed> , a merchant
here in London, presently taking medical treatment. now, I have been
diagnosed with Prostate cancer that was discovered very late due to my
uncaring attitude for my health.
It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few
months to live according to medical experts. To be sincere with you, I
have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for
anyone not even myself but my business and money. Though I am wealthy, I
was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my
business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this
as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make
all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to
come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have
lived it. Now that I know my time is almost up, I have willed and given
most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family
members and as well as a few close friends.
I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be
one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in
myanmar,Indonesia,China,and Africa at large. Now that my health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self any more. I once asked
members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money
which I have there to some charity organizations in
Myanmar,Indonesia,China and Africa at large, they refused and kept the
money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not
to be content with what I have left for them.

The last of my money is the huge cash deposit ($1.6million) that I have
with a security firm. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and
dispatch it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I, Mr.
Derek Rolfe . that is making this generous donation.
I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed where I wait
for my time to come.

You can reply me through my private email address: <email removed>

As soon as I receive your sincere response, I will hence give you all the
necessary details of how this can be done. I pray that you will support
and assist me with good heart so that I can be able to achieve my goal. If
you accept to help me do this, I promise you a reward of 30% of the
($1.6m).

Thank you for understanding.

<scammer’s signature>

These are getting better and better!

Another Nigerian, or is that Iraqi, 419 scam email

This one is funny:

From: “John Nielsen” <info@us.mil.org>

To: undisclosed-recipients

Dear Friend,

With a very desperate need for assistance,I have summed up courage to
contact you.I am presently in Iraq with the USA marine platoon;I found
your contact particulars in an Address journal.I am seeking your
assistance to evacuate the sum of $900,000.00(Nine hundred thousand
dollars)to you,as far as I can be assured that it will be safe
in your care until I complete my service here.This is no stolen money,and
there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:

Some money in various currencies was discovered concealed in barrels with
piles of weapons and ammunitions at a location near one of Saddam’s old
palaces during a rescue operation,and it was agreed by all party present
that the money be shared amongst us,this was quite an illegal thing to do,
but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have
taken with our lives in this hell hole.

The above figure was given to me as my share,and to conceal this kind of
money became a problem for me,so with the help of a German contact
working here,and his office enjoys some immunity,I was able to get the
package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot.He does not
know the real contents of the package,and believes that it belongs to an
Asian American who died in an air raid,and before giving up,trusted me to
hand over the package to his family.

There is a secured way of getting the package out to a safer country for
you to pick up,and i will discuss this with you when I am sure that you
are willing to assist me.One passionate appeal I will make to you is not
to discuss this matter with a third party,should you have reasons to reject
this offer.please destroy this mail as any leakage of this information
will be too bad for us.

I do not know for how long we will remain here but hopefully before the
year runs out,I have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace
of God,this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to
reach out for help.

Respectfully,
Capt John Nielsen

First off, military addresses are not .org, nor are they .mil.org, they are .mil, plain and simple. I’m sure our “Captain” is not aware of that.